ENTERTAINMENT/SEX - On a whim, before writing this article, I decided to Google the phrase "lap dancing for women". I found a total of six sites. I also tried "male lap dancing" and found 1,520 sites.
I concluded lap dancing is really an idea more for women lap dancing for men, and when you include the rules for lap dances its really for voyeuristic men. The rules are: Hands off, no touching, no dirty talk or threats, no asking for 'extra attention'. Basically just sit back and enjoy the show.
Because that's what lap dancing is meant to be, just a show. They're not prostitutes and they're not there to be groped by strange men either. Hence the bouncers.
The problem is strip/lap dancing clubs sell alcohol and drunk men tend to get rowdy, so its not a perfect industry in any way. Its rife with problems.
Over in England, Birmingham is regularly called the "lap dancing capital of the UK", but they've created something new.
Tricky Dicky's is the very first club catering solely for straight women, with no men allowed through the doors - except for the 22 thong-clad male dancers. So male lap dancing does exist. Its just very rare.
For £5 the women get in and they can buy £10 tokens at the bar which are used to get a private lap dance. Like female lap dancing, there is strictly no touching, with six female security staff on hand to enforce the rule.
But is there a lot of women out there who are into voyeurism and like being turned on by just looking and no touching?
There is also the matter of gullibility and deceit. Lap dancers have to convince the customer that they are sincerely interested in them, providing a hint that there could be real sexual attention and not just a peep show. The customer has to fantasize about the person giving the dance by convincing them its more than just looking, but at the same time maintaining the rules of no touching, etc. That is a tall order for any lap dancer, male or female.
Generally speaking, you'd think men would be more gullible, but according to Tricky Dicky's revenues... women are just as easy to trick into believing in the illusion, but there's also a percentage of women out there that say it would be improbable, maybe even impossible to trick them into falling for it.
But those women are sober. We are forgetting that when alcohol is involved our fantasies tend to wander and our gullibility increases.
Plus the kind of men/women who would go to a lap dancing clubs are, more or less, a little desperate and gullible in the first place.
Its a bit like couples who like sexual roleplaying. There's never really a disconnect where they actually think they're James Bond and Money Penny, or Conan and the Queen of the Amazons... its all in good fun, but its never real no matter how much you may want it to be.
Perhaps that is why lap dancing is more believable. The customer is faced with a real dancer, real temptation, and real grinding in their face/lap... the breasts and makeup may be fake, but the sexual tension is real.
"Women treat it as a party and have fun, whereas for a man, getting a dance from a girl is a more serious thing," says one woman who visited a male strip club. The trend is for women to come in groups, but men prefer to visit strip clubs alone. That suggests women are there for entertainment, but men are actually hunting for sex.
Depending on what country, state or province you go to, lap dancing is illegal and has additional rules involved. There's also been a number of scandals, such as city councilors who get caught using public money to pay for lap dances, and later claim they were doing 'research' into whether lap dancing should be legal or not.
Like the recent incident in Toronto Canada when three Italian-Canadian men, city council members, went to a strip club, got lap dances and later claimed they were just doing research... three married Italian men... I wonder what their wives think of their research activities?
Totally besides the point that there was no legislation currently before the Toronto city council for or against lap dancing. Some people just make up the dumbest excuses.
So to draw from that, people who visit strip clubs are... desperate, gullible, voyeurs... and they make the dumbest excuses.
According to Bethany, a political researcher, she has never been to a lap dancing club and doesn't think she ever will. "I just don't see how it's attractive, there's no intimacy and the other person is only there because they're being paid. In fact it's a guaranteed way to lower your self-esteem, because you are having to resort to payment for your sexual kicks."
So the customers aren't just desperate... they're lechers who can't get a real date, and in the case of those married men, probably in an unhappy marriage.
Then there's the people, men and women, who view lap dancing as a waste of money. With this one, I agree utterly. $20 for a lap dance or $40 for a private lap dance? Seems rather pricey for something with no touching involved.
"I would rather to spend the money on a manicure," says one woman.
John Lenkiewicz, director of the London-based Institute of Sexuality and Human Relations, and a psycho-sexual therapist, believes that women are unlikely to be turned on just by watching. "They would go for a laugh rather than for sexual gratification," he says. "Women are interested in attention, protection and humour rather than physical attributes."
Some women would disagree, of course, but admittedly there is a lot more fat comedians out there drawing in crowds of women.
Laws surrounding strip clubs and lap dancing vary wildly, governing everything from where they can be built, how big they can be, how they can advertise, their choice of name or logo,
And when that is all done, they also have to contend with anti-filth and anti-smut groups who are worried about what this says about women and family values.
In England, in response to a national campaign by the Fawcett Society and OBJECT, the Labour Party has committed to overhaul the way lap dancing clubs are licensed in order to make it more difficult for clubs to get lap dancing licenses.
This isn't enough according to members of the Fawcett Society and OBJECT, who point out this is essentially just a tax on lap dancing, as opposed to cutting back on it. Furthermore it legitimizes lap dancing, because it then becomes a taxable industry and a source of government revenue. The new plan also allowed for several loopholes which would allow more people to become lap dancers.
Call it a funny thing about the whole sex industry, the more people try to censor them and force them out of business, the more they push back and manage to actually improve their situation.
One thing is for certain: Lap dancing is here to stay, and given time male lap dancing for women will grow... but most women will still of it as a joke.
Sex Jokes and Cartoons I
Sex Jokes and Cartoons II
Sex Jokes and Cartoons III
Sex Jokes and Cartoons IV
Sex Jokes and Cartoons V
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