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Being Wishy Washy at Work

SEX - If you've ever dated someone (and this is the same for both men & women) who is wishy washy and doesn't know what they want you quickly realize how frustrating and what a relationship rollercoaster it is.

Let me cite some examples.

Ten years ago when I was in the first year of university I dated a girl from Hong Kong who was in a dorm west of mine. We broke up 27 times over a 2 week period, mostly because she couldn't decide what she wanted in the relationship. She would get upset over the silliest things, break up with me, get jealous or lonely and then ask me back. Half of the time it was me breaking up with her, because I was getting very frustrated with the sheer rollercoaster of emotions. Eventually we broke up permanently.

Now that is an extreme example, but since then I have had occasion to meet women who are also wishy washy. Not just relationship wise, but indecisive in general. Some women can't seem to decide what to wear, what to eat, what to do even.

Meanwhile the guy is standing there pulling his hair out and saying "Just a pick a pair of shoes that matches the weather outside!"

For men this level of wishy washiness is very frustrating. We're not used to standing by while someone makes a decision, often a decision that makes very little difference.

Now generally speaking we think of women as being wishy washy, but I have heard of instances where men do it too. And likewise it will be over silly inane thing.

"Should I have the red wine or the white wine with the chicken or the fish?"

Does it really matter? The thing is dead, it doesn't care what wine you drink with it. The fish isn't going to look up and say "Have the red wine! You'll live longer!"

The point I am ultimately trying to get at is that being wishy washy is a relationship breaker. Some people might argue its even worse than the Dreaded Silent Treatment (which basically means the relationship is over because the person is so immature they are refusing to communicate).

The thing about being wishy washy however is that its a personality flaw. The Silent Treatment is just something immature that little kids do when they're angry at their parents or siblings. ("Mom! Andrea won't talk to me and she's being a dick!") In theory as people get older they eventually realize that the Silent Treatment doesn't solve any problems, it just hurts the relationship and will ultimately kill the relationship if it continues.

ie. Siblings that keep giving the Silent Treatment as adults will probably cease talking altogether and even avoid the other at family gatherings.

Being wishy washy however isn't something people grow out of easily as they get older. Its much more deeply rooted in a person's psyche and as such when they're trying to make a difficult decision (like breaking up or getting a divorce) such events will be even more traumatic for the other person because they will taken through a rollercoaster ride of "Are we getting divorced or not? Make up your freaking mind!"

In which case the person on the receiving end may just to decide to end the relationship first, out of sheer frustration and heartbreak. They may not happy with the decision later on, but there is only so much a human being can take emotionally before they decide to cut off contact.

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